


people are searching for something (they think they lost long ago)

by besidemethewholedamntime



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Season 6 Speculation, a short moment in which they're together, post 5x22
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-23 00:42:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15594444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/besidemethewholedamntime/pseuds/besidemethewholedamntime
Summary: '“No,” she sighs, defeated still looking out at the endless sea she’d like to disappear on. “We wouldn’t have left our friends.”'A moment where they get to simply be together, after everything. Speculation for a moment in season 6.





	people are searching for something (they think they lost long ago)

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where it came from and I don't know if it makes sense but I didn't want to put it in my prompt fic because it wasn't a prompt it was just something random from my brain!
> 
> To those whose prompts I still have to do: I promise promise I'm getting to them, I really am! This was something I think I just had to get out of my brain before I could write anything else. Tomorrow, though, I will sit down and get on with these prompts because, really, I've had more than enough time!
> 
> This isn't really as angsty as everything makes it out to be. I'm just so terrible at tagging things because it's not angsty but it's not happy and ah! Does tagging stress you all out, also? Because I find it the hardest part! As well as summaries! 
> 
> Title is from 'Something Like This' by Gordi which is a song I honestly love unreal amounts and I recommend listening to. If you want to, of course! 
> 
> Thank you so much for getting this far and I hope you enjoy :)

> _And I see you’re holding all of me together now_   
>  _For all those hours I waited for nothing_   
>  _I wanted something like this_

 

“For a moment there I thought we could have had it all.”

She turns to him, but he isn’t looking at her. Instead he is looking out at the choppy waves of the sea, still visible even in the dead of night.

“We did have it all,” she says finally, side-stepping closer to him. He shivers but there’s no wind here, no cold. Only the stillness. Only them. “At the end of the world. Where we stood. We had it all.”

“Did you ever think about leaving?”

It would be nice to say that the thought had never crossed her mind but the truth is that it crossed her mind almost every day. How hard but how easy it would have been just to pack a bag and just to flee in the middle of the night like thieves.

“We could have,” she looks back out at the water, watches the unsettles water move up and down against itself. It’s almost unnerving, how she can relate. “We could have left while we were still winning.”

“But we wouldn’t have, though, right? We wouldn’t have left our friends.” He does turn to look at her then and she can feel the burn of his gaze on her cheek. She could lie, she’d rather like to, but there’s no more lying to him. Life is too unpredictable for that.

“No,” she sighs, defeated still looking out at the endless sea she’d like to disappear on. “We wouldn’t have left our friends.”

Her finger feels too light and her heart too heavy but no, they wouldn’t have left their friends. Not when the fight wasn’t theirs to bear alone. They had a duty, a price to pay just as much as everybody else did. It just feels like some got to pay less than others and she wants whatever deal they managed to get. To turn back time, to make it all different, she would sell her soul.

“Will it ever be the same?” He asks, and this time she does turn to him and takes in his flushed cheeks and hopeful, boy-ish look. When did she become the pessimist? The battle-hardened veteran? This role-reversal is not her favourite thing but yet just another unfortunate outcome of events that have already transpired.

Oh how she hates to destroy his hope but she already promised no more lies. But the truth is empty. “I don’t know, Fitz.”

There are tears in her eyes and a wobble to her voice but she keeps her chin up obstinately because crying only ever means she’s losing more than she can ever give.

He nods, acknowledging the only thing she has left to offer and turns back to the sea. Is it calming for him, she wonders? Is he as afraid of it as she is? Does he remember the water rushing in and the feeling of utter helplessness? Of kicking and kicking and wondering if it will do anything at all?

“It’s funny. Even now I still don’t like it,” he tells her, nodding his chin in the direction of the sea. “All that water.” The next part is quiet, to himself. “All that cold.”

She’s grateful, she is, to still have that connection. She knows he’s the same, but she isn’t.

“It’s rather like space, isn’t it? Endless.”

“Yeah,” he breathes out. “Not really a big fan of either now.”

They side-step into each other at the same time, arms brushing and it gives her goose bumps. He takes her hand and she holds onto like a lifeline. It’s soothing, how warm it is, how solid, how _alive_. She has gripped onto his hands so many times in her life but in this moment, right here, nothing can compare.

“Maybe we just stay on Earth now,” he whispers. “No more seas or skies or space. Just us and the ground.”

Once she would have said a life on the ground would be boring. Once she advocated tirelessly for a life in the skies, a life of restlessness that could satisfy the craving, the deep-seated need she had to see the world before it got too late. Sometimes her dreams her haunted by all of those things that might have not been if she just could have stayed.

“That sounds like a good plan,” she agrees, linking her fingers with his.

He looks back up to the skies. It’s a clear night, the stars are twinkling against the inky backdrop of the sky. “Well,” he quips, “at least we’ve still got the stars.”

A _nd you. At least I’ve still got you_ but she doesn’t say so and lets her lips twitch up in a half kind of smile. She leans against him, rests her head on his shoulder and enjoys the sound of his breathing. “Yes, how glad I am that we still have the stars.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading - it is greatly appreciated! Please feel free to leave kudos/comments. Please feel free not to. Either way, I hope you have a lovely day!


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